Aerial Circus

this is going to sound way bitchier to everyone than I mean it to, and/or silly since this is the internet. It’s probably telling that I actually sort of agonized over whether or not to post this, because I know I have no control over how people will react to it and I’m infamous for putting my anxiety over losing control over my need to vocalize my feelings. But! I’ve noticed that lately people have been poking fun at my moodier or more sentimental posts across various social medias, in obviously friendly, lighthearted and “no harm intended” ways that have nonetheless been harming me. 

I’m not a humorless person but this is a sore spot in me. It’s really a toss up depending on the day whether or not a joke like that will be triggering for me, as a lot of the psychological abuse I suffered in my childhood & adult relationships revolved around “jokes” that were actual deep cut downs of my self esteem and/or ducking out of acknowledging my experiences/emotions by mocking and ridiculing them. 

I know everyone is going to be all wah come on lighten up wheres your sense of humor but that’s exactly what all my abusers said, so just don’t make fun of my feelings, okay? Resist the temptation for my sake. I know ya’ll love me and none of you are trying to hurt me obviously, but I can’t always control how it makes me feel.